Thinking of Homeschooling? The Decision I Made at the Very Beginning That Got Me Through

I had this at the very beginning, and this is what I’ve always told every Muslim mother who wants to homeschool:

Sit down and ask yourself why.

Why do you want to homeschool?

Is it because you want to raise them as Muslim children who don’t have to disobey Allah in their youth?

Is it because you want to protect them from the ways of the non-Muslims?

Is it because you want to protect them from the LGBT movement and the indoctrination of our children?

Is it because you want them to remain upon that pure fitrah Allah created them upon from birth?

Is it because you want them to be raised upon Tawheed and Sunnah?

Or is it because you want to follow the crowd and copy everyone else because your friends are doing it?

Is it because it just feels right?

What is it? Why do you want to keep your children away from these schools?

I had many, many reasons when I began homeschooling, but the first and foremost was for the sake of Allah.

Even if I failed at it, I started with the intention of doing it for the sake of Allah.

I wanted to keep my child upon the pure fitrah.

As soon as I learned about homeschooling — and I will tell you how this came about in another post, In Shaa Allah — I wanted to protect my child from the things Allah had told me to protect them from.

Things like observing the hijab and free mixing between girls and boys.

Here in the UK we have mixed-gender schools. A Muslim girl cannot simply live as though her religion has nothing to say about these things. There are all kinds of different trends with hijab happening here. May Allah protect our youth. Girls are wearing trousers and blazers like the boys, mixing with boys and working alongside them, and vice versa.

After learning from many of my own mistakes, I knew that I needed to have the correct intention before I started homeschooling my child.

I knew I needed help from Allah.

Because I was going into the unknown.

I’d never, ever done anything like home education before.

But I’m the type of person who looks at others and thinks:

If they can do it, then so can I. Allah will help and aid me if I do it for His sake.

So that’s all I had.

Just me and Allah before I set off on my journey.

Subhan Allah, it was frightening. I’m not going to lie to you. I was terrified.

But I absolutely loved the thought of not having to send my child to school.

Allahu Akbar.

I was so grateful to Allah that He had shown me another way. Something different. Something that meant I didn’t have to go down the same route.

It felt like a gift that I’m forever grateful for.

A gift that I made dua for all my decedents to follow after me.

Alhamdulillah.

I’m not going to go into too much detail about the rest of my journey here because I really wanted to write this post for the mother who is thinking about homeschooling.

The mother who keeps going backwards and forwards.

The mother wondering:

Should I do it? Can I actually do this? What if I can’t cope? What if I get it wrong?

I want to tell you something I wish every Muslim mother would do before worrying about curriculum, timetables, books, lessons or what everyone else is doing.

Make the correct intention first.

Sit with yourself.

Away from other people.

Reflect and ponder upon your own life as a mother and think about what you actually want for your children.

Who do you want them to be?

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How do you want them to turn out?

What will you say to Allah about their upbringing and how you took care of them?

What did you do with them?

What did you expose them to?

How did you raise them?

What will we say?

Think about how you will protect them from the fitnah of this world in the things that are within your control right now.

It’s about you and them.

It’s not about anyone else.

It’s about you and your babies. Your children. Those little people who rely upon you to keep them safe.

It’s not about you and your friend.

It’s not about you and the community.

All of that comes later.

The first question you need to ask is:

What is my intention here?

And it needs to be for the sake of Allah.

You need to do this for Allah.

You need to do it because you want Allah to be pleased with you as a mother.

This has to be your decision.

You are going to need help and aid from Allah, so you will have to rely upon Him to get you through all of your needs and hardships along the way.

And there will be hardships.

That’s something I don’t want to hide from you.

There will be days when you feel like giving up.

There will be days when you wonder whether your children are missing out because they don’t have the social life that children in school have. (That “social life” they say they have in school. Let’s talk about that in a different post as well, because that couldn’t be further from what a real, healthy social life looks like for them.)

There will be days when you cry — and your children might cry too.

Gosh, I’ve had many of them lol.

Some days your house will be upside down and absolutely nothing will go to plan.

Sometimes you’ll doubt yourself:

Am I doing enough?

You might feel lonely.

Nobody really talks about the lonely part, but I’m telling you because I want you to know the reality of homeschooling too.

You might become tired of explaining to people why you homeschool.

And sometimes you’ll genuinely feel like you’re failing.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you are failing.

You’re a mother trying to do something enormous.

I can tell you this, though:

My intention is what helped me never give up.

School could never really become my answer.

Did I ever think about school?

Of course I did.

Because the Shaytan works on me just like he works on you. He tried to sway me many times during my weakest moments.

But I always came back to the reason I was homeschooling:

For the sake of Allah.

To keep my child safe from harm as much as I possibly could.

That’s what brought me back.

Again.

And again.

And again.

We have days when we feel on top of the world — Alhamdulillah — and days when we feel down in the dumps. Alhamdulillah in all situations.

Go back to your intention.

I am still a parent who has made many mistakes. May Allah forgive me. And I know I’ll probably continue to make mistakes.

But I tried my best and I will continue to try my best In Shaa Allah.

And I know that when we do something sincerely for the sake of Allah, seeking His pleasure, we ask Him for His help and aid, He always comes through for us ❤️

May Allah make us people of sincerity.

Our goal in raising our children isn’t just academic success.

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We’re not simply trying to pass exams or tick curriculum boxes.

We want to raise children upon the Qur’an and Sunnah, with the understanding of the Salaf. We want to nurture their belief, their character and their connection with Allah before this world pulls at them from every direction.

So, my message to you — the Muslim mother thinking about homeschooling because she wants to protect her children — is this:

Go back to Allah first.

Don’t begin with Pinterest.

Don’t begin with somebody else’s homeschool timetable.

Don’t begin by comparing your house to the beautiful homeschool rooms you see online.

Don’t even begin with curriculum.

Begin with your intention.

Why am I doing this?

What am I trying to protect?

What am I trying to build?

What kind of Muslim do I hope my child becomes?

And what do I want Allah to see from me in the way I raised the children He entrusted me with?

Don’t follow the crowd.

Think about you and your children first.

Think about your relationship with Allah.

Then make your decision.

And when the difficult days eventually come, go back to that intention:

“I’m doing this for the sake of Allah.”

That is what carried me through homeschooling.

If you’re struggling with this decision, leave me a comment or send me an email. Let’s chat. Maybe something I’ve learned along the way can help you make your decision, in Shaa Allah.

And if you need somewhere practical to begin, I’ve also put what I learned through my own journey into my Muslim Mother’s Homeschooling Guide. I created it because I wanted other mothers to have some of the information and support that I didn’t have when I first began.

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But whether you get my guide or not, please do this one thing:

Sit down and ask yourself why.

Because before the curriculum, before the timetable, before the worksheets, before the books and before the beautiful homeschool plans…

comes the intention.

May Allah make us sincere in our actions, place barakah in our efforts, protect our children and make our homes places in which they are raised upon the truth.

Aameen.

Part two of the homeschooling series is coming soon In Shaa Allah..